Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
