I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
