We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
