don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
This house was built for laser tag.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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