you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
