i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
