best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
