So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
