My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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