So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
