How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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