She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
