i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize