Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
