im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
