I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
