She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
