I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
