don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize