youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
