More tranny stories later!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
