just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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