just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm too high and old for this...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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