I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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