love makes seman taste better
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize