so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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