Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
