In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
