paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize