hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
