Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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