ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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