Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
