He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
