He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize