Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
