Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
