from now on my penis is your penis
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
