I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
