Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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