Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
