You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize