then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
