Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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