At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I didn't notice because vodka
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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