you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
