i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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