I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
