I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
