every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
