So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
