you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
