I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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