is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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