I am full of burrito and curiosity
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
