dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
