I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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