My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize