I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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