Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I have tasted many bathrooms
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize