Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize