u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Sorry my hands just texted you
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
